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Killing Me Softly
I have become mute, I do not open my mouth. PSALM 39:9
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The husband realized he needed to be awakened early one morning to catch a business flight, but he didn’t want to be the first to break the silence. So he left a note on his wife’s side of the bed that read, “Please wake me at 5 A.M.”
By the time bright sunshine roused him the next morning, it was 9 A.M. Furious, he threw back the covers and shouted to his wife (who was nowhere to be found), “Why didn’t you wake me up like I asked you to?” That’s when he saw, stuck to the lamp on his bedside table, a note in her handwriting that read, “It is 5 A.M. Time to wake up.” It doesn’t take much to make us angry and create emotional distance from each other. But it does take great, courageous effort to fight through the silence to a place of forgiveness and oneness. Isolation seems to offer us protection, a certain kind of self-preservation. There is a type of peace found in avoidance that appears much more appealing than the pain of dealing with reality.
Silence feels like a security blanket. But in fact, it is one of Satan’s most deadly disguises. The silent treatment is perilously deceptive and ultimately destructive. When you find yourself tempted to square off against each other, retreating to your corners and refusing to give in, remember that Jesus could have given us the cold shoulder. He could have taken one look at our many, many sins and shortcomings and never sought to draw us out. May His reaching, redemptive love be our model and motivator. We serve a God who both seeks and speaks. Be sure you’re a spouse who does the same.
What, if anything, drives you into silence? Discuss what your spouse should do when you are silent.
Pray that God will show you both what you should do if one or both of you becomes silent.