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BY BARBARA RAINEY
Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. JOHN 7:24
It’s so easy for a woman to look at her husband and say:
“He’s sure not very _______.”
“He doesn’t _______ or _______ or ________.”
“I wish I was married to someone more like ________.”
But every time you say or even think something along these lines—every time you focus on those inevitable aspects about him that are disappointing or negative—you catch him in a comparison trap. You forget that God has a plan for your man that is different from the one He has for somebody else’s husband. You ignore the fact that your job is to respect him, to be used by God to help reveal that plan in his life, whatever it may be.
When I married Dennis, I had no idea we would end up doing the kinds of things God has led us to do. It hasn’t always been easy to have Dennis Rainey for a husband. It would have been so easy at times to settle back and say, “I wish he was more like so-and-so,” rather than being content with the one God had given me and helping him develop into the man God wanted him to be. There are so many things that Dennis does well. There are a lot of things he doesn’t. But when I’m lasering in on those things he doesn’t do quite so well, I’m expecting him to be someone he’s not. No, he’s not perfect. Neither am I. Nobody is.
But I believe that God can change your heart as He does mine when I slip into seeing only the imperfections. The key is recognizing what you are looking at in his life and being willing to let God adjust your focus from the negative to the positive.
Spend some time encouraging each other right now. I’m sure both of you could use some building up.
Ask God to adjust your view of each other toward something more grateful and positive.